A blog is born

When I first began to think about creating a blog -- I wondered what it would be like to have an online relationship with myself. Specifically a relationship that anyone in the general population could potentially see. Do you look at the product with self love? disdain? pride? I thought that if Matthew and I ever broke up this would be my testimate to how I'd lived the day. A way to measure the passing of time and to validate the act of being. More than the journal that sits by my bedside, this would be a document shared with the world that proclaims: I am alive! I am worthy of space! Yet beneath the surface confidence would be the subtle questions...Um, do you still like me? Is what I'm doing enough?

The birth of "Four Seasons" comes after a year long gestation period in Burlington, Vermont. During this time I endured (enjoyed?) the passage of a 9 month winter, 3 week mud season, 2 month summer, and a quick eye blink of fall. "Four Seasons" emerges today with the push to create a final reflection paper for a graduate level course I took to Belize (Central America) during the 2005-2006 Christmas break and the realization that I need anchoring to embrace the dynamic pace of my changing life.

So begins the practice of being. Eckhart Tolle writes in Practicing the Power of Now (p. 100):

In the state of enlightenment, you are yourself -- "you" and "yourself" merge into one. You do not judge yourself, you do not feel sorry for yourself, you are not proud of yourself, you do not love yourself, you do not hate yourself, and so on. The split caused by self-reflective consciousness is healed, its curse removed. There is no "self" that you need to protect, defend, or feed anymore.

When you are enlightened, there is one relationship that you no longer have: the relationship with yourself. Once you have given that up, all your other relationships will be love relationships.

Eckhart would likely have a few words to say regarding my thoughts in the opening paragraph. Perhaps then, as practice of mindfulness and surrender, this blog can be a routine manifestation of being across the four seasons. Rather than a carefully constructed image of the ego this blog will share the bare essentials: thoughts that arise, poetry or art that strikes an emotional cord, and a daily space for the celebration of breath.