A friend asked a few months ago why I hadn't written on my blog in a year. I replied confidently via text "not sad." This was not a full truth. Rather, I forgot the blog was a tool to help me manage sadness by connecting to the world.
2012 wasn't easy. It was full of the normals: feelings of stress at work, relationship challenges, life transitions, and general wanting (wanting to be happier, funnier, better, smarter, stronger, kinder...). All the good stuff that makes my heart ache at times. And although I didn't post here, the good news is that I was embracing other ways of coping and moving through most of the time. :)
In 2007 when we first moved to La Grande and I was having trouble adjusting (e.g., meeting friends, getting in an exercise routine, finding my center at work) my dissertation advisor wisely stated: "sounds like a great opportunity to throw yourself into your work." It worked then (I finished my PhD because of this), so I applied it again in Portland. I dug in at work and put in long hours. I ran with friends weekly in Forest Park and attended my favorite yoga classes (Thursday night and Sunday mornings). I spent time on Facebook catching up with old friends (read: stalking their profiles). I diaried...I saw a counselor...I got acupuncture...I spent time with family and friends...
Yet, since this question I've been thinking about my blog and why I've stayed away. I've been asking myself: What is this space for? What do I want to create here? The blog has always felt like a private diary with a small, small, small chance that someone else will discover it - but just enough of a chance that it makes me behave better, be more honest, be more kind. The blog [generally] provides an opportunity for me to share, process and grow by documenting about my life and experiences.
2013 is a year of discovery. It is a year for making space and accepting what is. It is a chance for me to learn about and embody compassion, to practice embracing both masculine and feminine energies within, and to come back to my center and to live in line with my values. Manifesting these opportunites requires identifying what I'm feeling, asking for what I want, listening without expectation, and making choices based on the reality at hand.
What better time then now to be right here.
I don't promise consistency with my posts - but there will be some.
Welcome back friend, welcome back.
